So you’ve managed to find a way to justify what you did by flipping it all back on him?

I’ve lived this tale a couple of times this year. Had a short relationship with someone that wasn’t exactly healthy. We both like to drink, we both agreed we would spend time away from the bar, together, to slow it down. I suggest things to do, I am told that I am clingy and “trying to take her away from her friends” even though the weekend before we had agreed to do something other than drink. I had another woman, this one didn’t go anywhere, who “ghosted” me after ending an hour’s long discussion via text. She asked me “what is you degree (college) in?” I admitted to not having one and never heard back. When I finally worked up the courage to reach out and ask if that was a problem, she accused me of being too self conscious and used it as an excuse to end communication with me. The reality is I gave both of these women outs that they developed through their own manipulation. In the first instance I was being lied to about her motivations, she set me up to seem “clingy” then threw it in my face to end it and in the second I gave her a reason to pin her shallowness about my lack of a college degree on me as a lack of confidence.

No, none of these things are exactly like what you went you through, and both of you probably deserved what you got, but the lesson is all the same. In the end I am not sure I am willing to go through this anymore. Trying to date today is the most excruciating process I can imagine. Right out of the gate it is all judgement and no substance. There are apparently dozens of “red flags” that exist, of which everyone I know exhibits multiple. So what does this all mean? Well, given the numbers, women are able to churn relationships like they mean nothing until they begin to run out of time and are forced to settle because when everything is a red flag, nothing is, and in the end all that actually matters is that a person believes they are “running out of time”.

Sorry for the rant, but having just gone through being manipulated by someone so they could end it on their terms by blaming me, this story triggered it.

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