I am very much emotionally available, but exited a short relationship with someone who was not. The way you describe your feelings specifically is beautiful. I constantly felt like I was being set up for failure so that when SHE broke it off she could blame me for being needy/clingy etc.
Now, maybe I am all of those things, to an extent, but the fact is that as soon as I “slowed things down”, the entire thing fizzled away and when I began to express myself emotionally she broke it off. That was her chance to blame me. I got emotional because I was being treated like a nobody and to her that was “toxic”.